whatever man.
so many people think i'd rather go
taiwan to have fun than care about my future.
you see,
i went to appeal to ngee ann's mass comm.
there's gna be a written test on the 14th.
but am flying off to taiwan on the 10th.
and some people just ASSUME that i'd
rather just go enjoy myself than care about my
future.
YOU THINK I WANT TO GO UP TO TAIWAN
STILL NOW THAT I HEAR THERE'S GNA BE A TEST
ON THE 14TH??!?!?!
it's not as if i have a choice.
the flight can't be changed cos it's a promotion ticket.
if i don't go,
i'll be alone at home cos my maid's gna go on her home leave.
mommy wouldnt hear of me staying home alone.
neither would i dare to stay home alone.
also,
i don't know if i will be shortlisted for the written test yet.
im supposed to call them on the 12th or 13th to find out.
if i forfeit this whole trip and find out i'm not shortlisted,
it's gna be alot of money wasted.
*screams*
I'm frustrated enough.
ARGH.
i know you've done well.
i know you've decided.
stop acting as if you know everything.
i know my standards.
i know what i can and cannot do.
stop being so insensitive.
having done so well,
you're still complaining.
i'm trying to decide.
you're not helping.
you don't know what i want.
you don't have to make such difficult decisions.
you don't understand.
you make me feel like a tiny piece of crap.
you talk to me and make me feel as if i'm stupid.
i feel bad enough so why don't you just fuck off.
leave me alone.
you were supposed to be my friend.
you were supposed to be there to help.
*screaaammmmsssssssssssssssssssssss*
argh.
decisions.
everybody hates it.
nobody knows if they're making the correct decisions.
"go where your heart leads you to"
and so i've read.
but, where is MY heart leading me to exactly?
*drama-mama*
let's see.
taiwan trip's an obstacle for me to go to ngee ann's
mass comm,
the very first place i thought about when i decided
on doing that course.
bad results also caused me to not be able to enter
tp's.
distance is a factor for NYP's.
fate's telling me to stop and make a u turn.
is it?
haha.
haiyah,
should i just go ahead with what i decided back in secondary
three?
i was so determined to go to lasalle then.
i don't know why i changed my mind about it in sec4.
maybe because i was influenced by the people
around me.
teachers and friends.
i had alot of mixed views from them.
maybe i should just go to lasalle yeah?
did i mention the satisfaction i got during the interview?
reading the scripts,
i felt the emotions.
literally.
considering he only let me read through it ONCE.
not being too wdv,
but i felt that i did better than what i had expected myself
to do.
in fact, i was IMPRESSED with myself.
maybe the modelling class did me good.
i have more confidence in performing in front of people now.
HAIYAH.
having said that.
ladies and gentlemen,
all who have given your comments
and advices,
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND WOULD GLADLY
GIVE ALL OF YOU A PECK ON THE CHEEK
FOR SHOWING CARE AND CONCERN TOWARDS ME.
*MUACKS*
i have made my final decision.
LASALLE-SIA it shall be.
LASALLE-SIA shall be where i want to go.
ACTING shall be my forte.
THEATRE shall be my workplace.
THE STAGE shall be my desk.
if i have such great passion for acting as i think i have,
now that i sorted out my thoughts,
i shouldn't give myself a chance to fail at it.
i shall work hard to make my career a success.
furthermore,
i'm a girl.
if everything still fails at the end,
MARRY A RICH MAN.
(ooo, i'm so lucky to not have a penis.)
wahahahahaha.
shall think about this no further.
i will shut out all negative comments about me
going to lasalle.
however, i will still go ahead to submit the JAE thingy.
for fun.
=)
*jumps around*
P.S: this entry was made over 3 and a half hours and thus the hate and frustrated emotions at the start. just thought it be more exciting to leave it there=) spaces between each paragraphs signifies that i have stopped to think. for a long time.
i made believe @ 3/03/2005 12:02:00 AM
