BAD BAD BAD
oh..how i wish i could jus go to bed n sleep for a year den wake up as if nthn happened..i wish this was all jus a dream!!! ad kinda broke up with mi yesterday..he said that it was best to be jus friends at this point of time..i was shocked n was at a loss of what to do..it took me a moment to reallie understand what he hd said..this means that there's no one to tell mi that he loves mi anymore..no one to hold my hand or to hug mi anymore..but he said he still loved mi tho..a glimmer of hope..but it's gonna be hard to get back after the Os..cos the feelings may just go away..its gonna be a whole 6 months!! n he doesnt understand why it matters so much to me that he's not gonna hold my hand or hug mi anymore..
well..the reason is that..i luv him so much n he luvs me too..yet..i cant jus go snuggle up to him anymore..no more holding of hands blablabla..its hard..plus..the upcoming O level chinese..im so dead..PLUS tdae we got back our report books..all Bs n a C5 for english..bahhh..L1R5 was 21..GAWD..ahh..and the weather these few days isn't helping very much..it's been dark n gloomy lately..raining almost everyday..chilly on most days..bah..how sad..i think i shud jus go get some sleeping pills n sleep for a long long time!! ah..wish i didnt haf to take the chinese paper on mondae..i mean..im still so unprepared..n i mean..REALLY damn unprepared..blah..im so screwed up...bad luck is everywhere around mi..bahh..wish i could cast a spell or something..where's phoebe piper n paige!!?? ahh..i wish i had a fairygodmother..'happiness is jus a teardrop away'..bah..i've also got a reallie painful ulcer!! see!! how bad my damn life is..aRGhh..i wanna DIE..i cannot take it already!! blahhhhhhhhh..i miss ad alot alot...reallie lots...cant imagine what the next few weeks gonna be like..its the last day of school tmr..not planning on going..oh yah..last nite..i accidentally knocked my head onto the wall..it was so damn freaking painful..!! look!! another bad thing..this is reallie the worst year of my entire life!!! dunnoe how i'm gonna survive this year..maybe i'll die..oh...i wish i have a concussion due to the knock on my head..if only that knock was strong enough for me to lose my memory..blahh..
wishes n dreams..i've made soooo many wishes this year..more than anything else...but they never do come true..hmm..but as mdm sharifa said..when smth bad happens, it usually is a blessing in disguise..oh..i pray sooooo hard that something reallie good will happen..oh please please please!! cos my life's already in such a huge pile of mess..! oh..how i wish i knew what to do now..i can jus DIE anytime right now..maybe there'll be a blood clot in my brain from that knock..i wish it'llgrow grow grow.. n then POP! it'll burst one day n i'll jus lie dead on the damn floor..=X bah..
p.s: samantha wong pls dun tell mum bout this k?
i made believe @ 5/27/2004 06:40:00 PM
